Arranging a Tinder hookup isn’t as easy as it used to be. In fact, most people simply know how to hook up on Tinder because the site’s design makes it so easy. You see a photo, you swipe right if you want to sleep with her and swipe left if she’s not your type.
Unlike other dating apps, Tinder doesn’t really require you to get to know a woman before deciding if you want to be with her. No detailed bios, no lengthy questionnaires; just some photos and a decision about whether she’s your type of not. Easy!
These days, however, hooking up on Tinder is a little more challenging. More and more people are using the app to find relationships. Now you’ll start to see bios saying “no hookups!” But if you want to learn how to find a hot Tinder hookup despite the site’s shift towards relationships, this is the guide for you.
How To Hook Up On Tinder
Here are some basic tips for how to get hookups on Tinder that all men should follow.
“No hookups” doesn’t always mean no hookups
Remember what we said about bios dissuading hookups? Well, a lot of women are open to exceptions. Being honest in your Tinder bio is always a good thing. But this isn't something that a lot of users do.
When I first started using Tinder, I saw so many profiles that included a variation of this. At that stage, the only thing I was interested in was a hookup so I’d swipe left and move on.
As I started to broaden out, I began to include these women as well. You’d be surprised just how many of them were totally fine with a hookup with the right person.
Before I go any further, I do want to emphasize the need for caution and respect here. There are plenty of women that aren’t into random hookups and that’s okay. I’m not suggesting you ignore this entirely. No means no in any context, just don’t swipe left based on this phrase alone.
So why do they say this if it isn’t true? Societal pressures and expectations. The old complaint that men are considered successful if they sleep around while women are called a slut is unfortunately true. It’s not fair but it is true.
By stating that they aren’t interested in a hookup, they’re protecting themselves from this. They’re also limiting the number of weak guys they have to sift through.
Here’s how I treat matches that include this in their profile: exactly the same as any other match. There’s no purpose in calling them out on it, all you’ll manage to do is make her feel bad.
Treat her the same as any other match, just remember that if she goes cold when you flirt on Tinder and things start to escalate, this may be why. It’s okay, she’s entitled to make her own choices so just move on to the next!
Learning how to get girls on Tinder is a bit of a process and you will have to take the good with the bad.
Women enjoy sex too
Somewhere along the way, we’ve been lead to believe that hookups are something only men enjoy. Not true. Men aren’t the only ones figuring out how to use Tinder to get laid.
As I mentioned earlier, there are pressures that keep women from being as open about it. Regardless, there are plenty out there who want no-strings-attached sex and will look to Tinder to find it.
Remember this when you’re creating your profile and in the conversations that you have. Be open about your intentions and get comfortable with talking about sex. It’s so normal for us to shy away from the topic with someone new. Admittedly, when I first started working on how to get girls on Tinder, I was hesitant about saying so too.
Unfortunately, if she is interested in hooking up with you, avoiding the topic could cost you the opportunity. It’s a mistake I made early on and one I don’t plan to repeat!
Now, my profile says that I’m not looking for a relationship and I choose my matches accordingly. If they swipe right and we start chatting on Tinder, I assume they’ve seen my profile and are okay with it. And if I don't match with a woman on Tinder, I assume we aren't looking for the same thing. This was a big step for me as I figured out how to hookup on Tinder.
The Hookup Apps Dating Coaches Recommend Most
Whether you're looking for your first hookup or are more experienced there are a few apps that tend to give regular guys the best results. These are the ones that our dating coaches have seen guys consistently have the best results with:
- Easily the best option for long-term relationships
- 75% of all online marriages start here
- 70% of users meet their spouse within a year
- In-depth signup and matching process
- The best way to meet singles for hookups by far
- Best results for regular guys
- Over 60 million active members
- Free trial to check it out
- A very good option if you're very attractive
- Top 5-10% of guys get solid results
- Free to try
- Can be very frustrating for regular guys
Be sexual, don’t be creepy
Wondering how to ask a girl to hook up on Tinder? The truth is: there’s a fine line between being a sexual person and being a creep. Only one of these is going to result in a hookup, I assure you. When learning how to ask for sex on Tinder, please keep this in mind.
The best way to make sure you stay on the right side of this line is to let things happen naturally. Trying to force your best version of a sexual conversation is usually going to sound very off-putting. Instead, let things play out normally and don’t allow yourself to shy away from sex.
You should also avoid showering her in compliments about her looks. For god’s sake, whatever you do, never use the word “Delicious” to describe any part of her. You’d be so surprised how many guys do this and even I need a shower just hearing it. Ugh.
Be creative with your opener
If you ever get the chance, scroll through the conversations in a woman’s Tinder. So many guys will either say some variation of “Hi” or they won’t say anything at all. We’ve covered this in more detail in our article What Men Say In Their First Online Dating Message. I really recommend taking a look at the infographic.
If you’re going to learn how to hookup on Tinder, you first need to get her attention. From there, all you have to do is put a little effort into your first message and you’re off to a great start.
Look through her profile and bio and find something you can either relate to or ask an interesting question about. If you’re lacking further creativity, this is usually going to be enough to get the conversation rolling with a woman on Tinder.
Escalate quickly
There’s no magic number of messages before you escalate to a phone number. When you’re learning how to hook up with a girl on Tinder though, you generally want to be a little quicker than normal.
If there’s mutual attraction and you’re both on the same page, the faster things move the greater your chance of success.
She may want to slow things down a little and get to know you first and that’s okay. Not all hookups will happen the same day so don’t try to force it. Instead, be patient and keep that intention in the back of your mind.
If things are going a little too slow for your liking, it’s also okay for you to move on and maybe even find some Tinder alternatives. Tinder is a two-way street so you’re under no obligations to do anything but be respectful.
This same concept also applies to your first date. Generally speaking, a long date suggests you’re both comfortable and into each other which is excellent. Just don’t let that date drag on all night until you’re both drunk or exhausted.
Have a plan (and a backup plan)
Once you’ve escalated through to the first date, make sure you have a plan in place. Ask what part of town she lives in and choose somewhere fairly close to either your place or hers. If things go well, you don’t want a $50 Uber ride to be the thing holding you back.
Choose a venue that’s lively, fun and allows you to get close to each other without feeling weird. Libraries are out, as are near-silent cafes.
Cocktail bars are my personal go-to for this sort of thing. They generally have an element of class to them, lively music and an interesting menu. Wherever you choose to go, make sure it matches your style and offers a good atmosphere.
In my experience, a good date that leads to a hookup often goes far longer than we anticipate. Maybe we both expect a drink or two yet here we are, six cocktails deep and getting very obvious about our intentions.
Since any number of things can come up along the way, it’s a good idea to have a backup plan in mind too. A different venue you can move to or somewhere you can go together. This makes sure you keep that momentum going rather than sitting there Googling better choices.
Prepare for the best-case scenario
This is something I also ways do before I head out on any Tinder date. No matter what I expect to happen, I want to make sure I’m fully prepared for the best outcome.
My apartment is spotless, my sheets are clean, I have condoms with me and my personal grooming is 100 percent. This way if there is an opportunity to hook up with her, I’m not worried about any of these things.
It also gives me confidence knowing that everything is in order and I’m putting forward the best version of myself. With all of this in place, knowing how to ask for sex on Tinder dates becomes so easy.
What to Do to Find More Tinder Hookups
These general tips will help you to get more matches on Tinder, which can ultimately make it easier to arrange a Tinder hookup.
Invest in professional photos
This is the most important tip if you’re still wondering how to find hookups on Tinder. With any online dating platform, your photos will always be the most important part of your profile.
So, it’s always a great idea to invest in a photographer to take some high-definition snaps of you looking at your best.
A high-definition photo automatically creates the impression that you’re a high-value guy because most women are only used to seeing celebrities and important people in this manner.
There are plenty of photographers out there who specialize in taking online dating photos. These professionals will be able to suggest the type of snaps that really stand out on Tinder.
Write an attractive bio
Your bio isn’t as important as your photos when it comes to attracting a Tinder hookup, but you should write something to try and woo women who are on the fence about you.
Your bio should include a list of your strongest selling points. If you’re tall, add your height. If you have an impressive job, include that too. Think about what makes you unique compared to every other dude on Tinder.
Humor can be a turn-on, but a joke that a woman doesn’t find funny could work against you, so tread carefully here.
Most importantly, don’t write anything that could offend her or turn her off. That means no complaining, no self-deprecation and no mention of controversial hobbies.
Create a brand new profile
If you created a bad profile while still wondering how to hook up on Tinder, there’s a good chance the app’s algorithm has punished you for that. If most women have been left-swiping on you, it’s well-known that you’ll eventually plummet towards the bottom of the Tinder pack, meaning fewer women will see your profile.
The best way to rectify that problem is to start from scratch with a new profile. This will reset your ranking in the eyes of the Tinder algorithm, and your account will even be blessed by the extra visibility that the app gives new users.
It’s not easy to successfully reset your Tinder ranking though. If you don’t create your account with a new email address, new phone number, new Apple or Google account and new photos, the app will recognize you and restore your old ranking.
Tips for Guys Who Are Really Serious About Finding Hookups on Tinder
You’ll take your Tinder hookup game to the next level with these advanced tips. If the basics aren’t helping you get matches, these will:
Invest in app upgrades
Online dating apps are businesses, first and foremost. Above anything else, they want their users to spend money.
Tinder introduced its paid subscription models some time ago, and these will make it easier for you to arrange a Tinder hookup by boosting your visibility to other users.
From the cheapest to the most expensive, you can invest in Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold or Tinder Platinum. These will all give you a number of Boosts and Super Likes to use throughout the month, as well as the ability to see who swiped right on you and other less important features.
Tinder Platinum goes one step further by pushing your profile to the top of the pack in your local area.
If you don’t want to invest in a monthly subscription to Tinder, you can instead purchase Boosts, Super Likes or Super Boosts with a one-off purchase.
Invest in an online dating course
If you’re really struggling to attract high-quality women on Tinder and would like some assistance from the experts, there are online courses that can help you discover how to get hookups on Tinder.
To start off, check out this Tinder Hacks article that will help boost your chances of finding matches, and therefore hookups.
But if you’re really serious about improving your online dating techniques, then why focus on just Tinder? We have an online dating guide that will help you get better at online dating in general, no matter what app you use and what your goal may be. Check out our Online Dating Mastery Course; you won’t regret it!
That’s about all you need to know about how to hook up with a girl on Tinder. Put these tips into practice and see exactly what works for you.
We’d love to hear how you go!
