Are you totally smitten with an attractive colleague and wondering how to tell if a girl likes you at work? Need to know all the important signs a female coworker likes you so you can decide if you should make your move?
Well, you’re certainly not alone. We spend so much time at the workplace that it’s natural to create strong bonds with other people there. The experts call this phenomenon “vicinity attraction.”
However, a fling between coworkers might turn into something complicated. This kind of situation can land you a great relationship but could also lead to office gossip and trouble with the HR department.
This article covers everything you need to know in case you fell in love with a coworker. So keep reading to learn how to recognize the signs that she likes you and to avoid screwing the whole thing up!
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How To Tell If a Female Coworker Likes You or Is Just Being Friendly
Your workplace may have excellent opportunities to meet someone awesome and then start dating them.
However, for a lot of guys, it can be difficult to tell if a female coworker is interested in a romantic way. If you misinterpret certain signs of professional courtesy or friendliness and take them the wrong way, you may get into a lot of trouble with your boss or HR. And in some severe cases, it may even cause you to lose your job and your reputation.
No one wants to be known as "that guy"—someone who is written up for sexual harassment and who every woman now avoids like the plague. That's why it's important to learn how to tell if a coworker likes you at work to avoid potential disaster.
Keep in mind that people in the workplace are trying to maintain professionalism and be courteous to one another. So, you need to figure out the following: Is your coworker flirting or just friendly towards you?
The Clear Signs a Female Coworker Likes You
There are plenty of signs you can see in the workplace that show if a coworker is interested in you or not romantically. I’ll show you how to spot them and tell you what to do when there’s an opportunity.
Take a look at the following signs that show if she’s flirting with you or just being polite and courteous:
She always wants to be near you
One of the main signs a coworker likes you is physical proximity. That’s because when you like another person, you usually want to be close to them as much as possible.
So, take notice when a lady you work with is constantly around you. Too often for it to be a mere coincidence.
She’s flirting:
- She goes out of her way to chat with you or walk with you somewhere
- She often finds random excuses to walk into your office
- You constantly see her when you’re at the coffee machine, the watercooler, etc.
- She comes to talk to you way more often than is necessary for work
She’s just being friendly:
- Only comes to your office or talks to you when there’s a work-related reason
- Doesn’t linger around you when there’s no work involved
Seeing you brightens her mood
If your coworker suddenly smiles as soon as she sees you, she might have a crush on you. We’re not talking about the courtesy smiles she gives all the other coworkers, but about a huge and genuine smile directed at you.
According to the body language coach Nicolas Fradet, when a woman is genuinely smiling, her eyes are slightly closed. You can also see little wrinkles appear at the sides of her eyes. Lastly, her bottom teeth are not visible.
If this is the case for your crush, her body language is signaling that you brighten her day, even if she’s stressed or angry with the boss. This is a huge sign that a woman is interested in you in general!
She’s flirting:
- She lights up when you enter the room, no matter her previous mood
- She enjoys being around you
- Talks about how much you brighten up her day
- Smiles at you genuinely and often
- Her gaze lingers on you for a long time
She’s just being friendly:
- Her mood doesn’t change at all when you come by
- She never tells if something you did has cheered her up
- She smiles in your general direction but not at you
Is your coworker flirting or friendly when she touches you frequently?
Does she touch your arms, hands and shoulders a little more often than is considered appropriate in a work setting? This is a big sign she finds you attractive, so don’t wait to make the first move!
According to behavior analyst Jack Schafer, she might try to do this in different ways. She could brush lint off your clothes or adjust your tie. Alternatively, you might find her trying to sit closer to you than she does with other male colleagues.
If you like her, don’t make the mistake of pulling away when she puts her hands on you. Otherwise, she’ll think you’re not interested in her!
She’s flirting:
- She finds any excuse to touch you
- She often sits as close to you as possible, making sure your legs touch
- Touches you in places mere acquaintances won’t
- Doesn’t touch other co-workers as much as she does you
She’s just being friendly:
- Only touches you in a friendly and polite manner, like shaking hands
- Never touches you in a non-professional way
How to tell if a coworker likes you? She compliments you often
Receiving compliments often is one of the more obvious signs a female coworker likes you.
So if your office crush tells you you’re smart, funny or that you give the best advice, she probably likes you. Same if she compliments you frequently on how you handle stressful situations or how your projects are the most successful.
The best situation is the one where she starts complimenting you on your physical assets. If she tells you you’re handsome or manly, she’s definitely trying to flirt with you! So you should make your move by asking her out for coffee.
However, many women are too shy to compliment guys in such a direct and bold way. That’s why she might show her appreciation for your cologne or outfit instead. The way she compliments you draws the line between whether a coworker is flirting or friendly.
She’s flirting:
- Her compliments are about your appearance, not strictly work
- She compliments you way more often than she does anyone else, even if they do something better
- She thinks you’re really smart, talented, handsome and all-around great
She’s just being friendly:
- She only compliments you about work-related stuff
- Her compliments are rare and only when you actually do a good job
- She commends your work as often as she does everyone else’s
How to tell if a girl likes you at work? She mirrors your movements
Mirroring occurs when she mimics your movements or gestures. For example, when at the coffee machine, she might bring her cup to the lips right when you do it too. If you’re sitting with your legs crossed, she does it as well.
It usually happens subconsciously and is often a sign of attraction. It means she’s very engaged in the conversation with you.
According to author and entrepreneur Merce Cardus, “the more that we feel like we really understand somebody . . . the more likely we are to physically mirror what they’re doing.”
However, remember that mirroring can also mean just sympathy. According to the personal growth experts at MindValley.com, “Is mirroring a sign of attraction? Yes, but it comes with a few disclaimers. Mirroring occurs when one person feels a strong connection to another. Now, while this may indicate attraction, it can also indicate camaraderie and close kinship.”
She’s flirting:
- Her movements and gestures are often very similar to yours and at the same time
- She mirrors you much too frequently for it to be a coincidence
- While mirroring you, she holds eye contact or keeps smiling at you
She’s just being friendly:
- You’re upset or worried and she’s simply trying to comfort you
- She mirrors your movements or gestures seemingly at random and very rarely
- You’re both very good at your work, often work in a team, and she’s mirroring you to signal kinship or camaraderie
Her body language is very telling when she’s around you
Another great way to know how to tell if a coworker likes you is to pay attention to her body language.
If she caresses her own body or an object when she’s around you, she’s probably trying to flirt! This gesture indicates what she would like you to do to her.
Same if she tries to draw your attention to her lips, neck or collarbone (i.e., some of the sexiest parts of her body). She might put her lipstick on in front of you or fidget with her necklace to make you think about kissing her or touching her neck.
Some women also play with their hair when they’re talking with people they like. Keep this in mind the next time you see her brushing her tresses!
She’s flirting:
- She keeps touching her neck, thighs, wrists, earlobes, etc. when she’s around you
- She fidgets with random objects when talking to you
- Tries to draw your attention to her features
- Plays with her hair when seeing you or talking to you
She’s just being friendly:
- Only touches her body when there’s a clear purpose (e.g. scratching, adjusting her clothing, brushing off lint, etc.)
- Never fidgets or touches her neck, wrists, thighs, ears and similar places when you’re around
Makes frequent eye contact and holds your gaze
Another huge sign of attraction is eye contact. If she looks at you more often than other coworkers and maintains eye contact when you initiate it, she’s likely very into you. Plus, if she looks at your mouth often, it’s a clear sign of sexual attraction. She’s probably daydreaming about kissing you!
However, if your crush shies away from eye contact or has trouble maintaining it, all is not lost. It doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not attracted to you since she could be shy or nervous. Perhaps she’s afraid you won’t reciprocate her feelings, so she tries to maintain a low profile when around you.
If this is the case for her, and you’re good with your peripheral vision, you could catch her stealing glances at you. Because it’s a good sign and often means she’s smitten with you.
She’s flirting:
- She looks longingly into your eyes when holding eye contact
- Her gaze often goes to your mouth, as much as your eyes
- Frequently steals glances at you when you’re not looking
- Smiles genuinely whenever your eyes meet
She’s just being friendly:
- Doesn’t go out of her way to maintain eye contact
- Her gaze is brief and polite
- You never notice her checking you out
Tries to get you somewhere private
Another decent sign a girl likes you at work is when she often tries to invite you somewhere after work without trying to invite anyone else to come along. Basically, she’s trying to get the two of you somewhere private so you can get to know each other better and not talk about work.
She’s flirting:
- Frequently tries to invite you somewhere after work
- Tries to invite you home or for drinks
- Invites you and no one else
She’s just being friendly:
- Only invites you to work-related events
- Invites everyone else along with you
- Doesn’t invite you anywhere
Stays at work late if you’re also staying
This is one of those signs a female coworker likes you that’s easy to spot but difficult to discern. However, if you notice a pattern where one of your female coworkers always seems to stay after hours when you’re doing the same, then it’s a pretty huge sign she likes you.
She’s flirting:
- She only stays after work if you’re staying
- She doesn’t have much work to do after hours but she still hangs out near you if you decide to stay late
She’s just being friendly:
- She often has lots of work to do and doesn’t interact with you when she stays after hours
- She stays after work seemingly at random and not at the same times you do
Goes out of her way to help you or runs your errands for you
This sign might seem obvious at first but plenty of guys miss it. But if you often notice your female co-worker go out of her way to help you with things and run your errands, seemingly without any personal gain, then she might just like you romantically.
People don’t just run errands for others unless they really like the person or there’s something else to gain from it such as money, favors, reputation, etc.
That’s why you should take notice if a girl at work does a lot of stuff for you without asking anything in return. Especially if she keeps saying it’s no big deal and she likes doing these things for you.
She’s flirting:
- Whenever you need help, she’s always there
- She helps you out very frequently without asking anything for in return
- Goes out of her way to make sure you have everything you need
She’s just being friendly:
- Runs a few errands for you but only when there’s something to gain for her
- Only helps you if you ask for it very nicely
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The Signs a Female Coworker Likes You But Is Hiding It
Now that you know all the main signs a female coworker likes you, it’s time to learn about the other subtle signs of workplace attraction.
These can range from very indistinct signs like inquiring about the women you have in your life. To incredibly minuscule signs like pointing her feet at you and not talking about other men in your presence.
However, before I even mention these signs, you need to know one important thing: Even if you see one or several of them, it doesn’t necessarily mean she has the hots for you. That’s because these signs are so subtle they’re very easy to misunderstand and misinterpret.
Take these signs as more of a hint. They’re only here to allude to the possibility of her liking you, so don’t take them extremely seriously. And when you do notice one or a few of them, do something to test the attraction and don’t just jump right in and start flirting yourself.
Adjusts her clothing and reveals herself
Sometimes women you work with will adjust their looks or appearance when you’re around. This is usually a sign they want to get your attention. Probably because they like you.
There are many different things they can adjust; their clothes or accessories, their posture and walk, or even things like their hair, breasts, facial expression, and so on.
One of the biggest signs of this is when women deliberately start showing a little bit more cleavage when you’re around.
That’s why next time you’re at work, take notice of women who do these things near you. Women put a lot of work into their appearance and they want men who they like to notice the effort they put in to look sexy.
She’s flirting:
- Adjusts her appearance as soon as you’re around
- Subtly tries to show off her cleavage or legs
- Makes sure her clothes accentuate her figure so you get to see it
She’s just being friendly:
- When she notices something’s off, she adjusts her clothes or appearance in a professional manner and not for your benefit
- Your presence is irrelevant and she often adjusts her clothes or appearance in general
Doesn’t talk about or even mention other men
Another subtle sign a woman at your work may show you to indicate she likes you is to never talk about other men near you.
In short, this means she won’t talk or even bring up any other guys during your conversations. Not her friends, not her family, and especially not her ex-boyfriends or lovers.
This is a subtle hint to show you they’re available and currently not dating or seeing anyone. Otherwise, you might think she’s taken and there’s no chance at a relationship with her.
That said, there can be other reasons for not talking about other men. But usually, this subtle hint is very telling so you should pay attention to it.
She’s flirting:
- Doesn’t mention other men at all in your conversations, especially if you ask if she’s seeing someone
- When she mentions other men, she quickly points out they’re “just friends” and actively tries to change the subject
She’s just being friendly:
- When she talks about other men, she doesn’t care how you react
- Talks freely about other men when around you
Points her feet your way
A strong yet subtle body language sign of attraction in the workplace is the direction someone’s feet are facing.
It may sound absurd, but where a person’s feet point to can communicate a lot of things subconsciously. So if you suspect someone at work likes you and enjoys your company, notice the direction their feet are facing during your interactions.
If your female coworker’s feet are often facing your way, it means she values what you have to say. Most likely because she likes you and enjoys spending time with you.
People who do this usually don’t know they’re doing it consciously. That’s why this sign is so powerful since it often reveals their intentions without them even realizing it.
She’s flirting:
- Her feet are facing you constantly
- You often have her undivided attention
- When in a group, she turns her whole body towards you as soon as you start speaking
She’s just being friendly:
- Her feet give everyone an equal amount of “attention”
- She doesn’t face you when you’re talking in a group
Inquires about the women in your life
One of the bigger signs a female coworker likes you but is hiding it is when she often asks you about the other women in your life.
Her questions can be about your current partners or female friends. They could be about your love prospects, the women you’re seeing and also your dating life in general.
Women often do this when they want to figure out and size up the competition they can potentially be facing. The best part about it is that it indicates very strong attraction.
So, make sure to notice if a certain woman around the office is asking you about your dating life often. Tell her you’re not in anything serious right now and if she wants to take you out to coffee, all she has to do is ask.
She’s flirting:
- She asks you about your ex-girlfriends
- She takes an interest in your love and dating life in general
- Her questions can innocently lead to asking you if you’re seeing anyone right now
She’s just being friendly:
- She asks you about your marital status matter-of-factly or for work purposes.
- She doesn’t pry about your dating life at all
Lightly touches her erogenous zones
When I say erogenous zones, I definitely don’t mean the main ones we all know about, like breasts, butt and beyond. Besides these, there are many other erogenous zones around a woman’s body. Namely her thighs, the area around and behind her ears, her wrists and inside her elbows, and especially her neck, among other things.
Women melt instantly when someone they like touches or caresses these spots gently. And when they like someone, they often caress these spots lightly themselves, usually without being aware of it.
These actions indicate huge interest and arousal, so make sure you notice them.
She’s flirting:
- She keeps touching her neck or plays with her hair when around you
- Her hands softly caress her thighs or wrists when talking to you
- She fidgets with her ear or earlobe and keeps rubbing behind her ear gently
She’s just being friendly:
- She’s a very touchy-feely person in general and touches these places when talking to other people and not just you
- Her touch has a purpose and she’s aware of what she’s doing
The Clear Signs a Shy Female Coworker Likes You
Now I’ll talk about how to tell if a girl likes you at work but is too shy to actually tell you this.
Unlike the signs above when a woman likes you but is hiding it intentionally, these women will be hiding the fact they’re into you unintentionally. This means the signs will usually be clear but a bit more difficult to notice in general.
She looks at you often but instantly diverts her gaze when your eyes meet
A glance or three usually means nothing at all. But when you notice your coworker sneak peeks at you constantly and instantly look away when your eyes meet, it means she likes you. And she’s probably too shy to tell you this directly.
If you keep noticing this, then eventually you’ll need to do something about it. Because if neither of you approaches one another, nothing will happen.
A simple way to do something about it is to tell her you’ve noticed her checking you out and you wanted to come over and say “Hello” and see how she’s doing.
Shy coworker flirting signs:
- She looks at you very often when you’re not looking at her
- As soon as you notice this, she looks away, to the side or down to the ground, signaling submissiveness or shyness
Shy coworker is being friendly:
- She does this with everyone because she’s just a shy person in general and isn’t necessarily interested in you specifically
- Your coworker doesn’t look away instantly, but only after a while, and not towards the ground
She asks you to help her out with things she doesn’t necessarily need help with
When a shy coworker likes you, one of the things she’ll do is ask you to help her with small favors or various little errands. When she does this, she’s just looking for an excuse to be near you. And also to see if you’ll do these little favors for her to make sure you like her.
Shy coworker flirting signs:
- She asks you and only you to help her with various little things around the workplace
- She’s overly thankful for each small task you do for her
- She flirtatiously asks you how she can pay you back
Shy coworker is being friendly:
- She asks you and other people equally to help her with things
- When you help her, she thanks you politely and curtly for your time
She laughs at all your jokes, even the unfunny ones
Just like outside the workplace, one of the clearest signs someone’s interested in you is when they laugh at all your jokes no matter how silly, stupid or even unfunny.
Most of the time if a woman does this to you but doesn’t indicate her interest in any other way, it still means she finds you attractive. That’s because this sign is subconscious and the majority of people do it without being aware of it. This is why it’s so powerful, especially if the person doing it is usually very shy.
Shy coworker flirting signs:
- No matter how unfunny your jokes are, she’s always the first to laugh
- She keeps smiling at you constantly and laughing at every little bit you say
- You always seem to have her undivided attention when speaking
- She makes sure you see or hear her laughing
Shy coworker is being friendly:
- Her laugh is disingenuous or she doesn’t laugh at your jokes
- She laughs only when you actually say something funny
Her body language and tone of voice changes
One other thing you’ll notice shy coworkers doing that indicates their interest in you is when their behavior and voice changes around you.
You see, when women are near someone they like, their voice becomes higher in pitch. Their body language also changes, often not so subtly. They also appear more feminine, innocent, girly, and bubbly.
Some women might even change the whole way they speak and even act cutesy and childish, to show they’re submissive around you. All of these things indicate huge attraction when it comes to shy women, and it might even make a woman want to chase you.
Shy coworker flirting signs:
- She starts speaking in a higher pitch when you’re around
- Her movements, gestures and entire body language become more feminine and girly when you’re around
- Her body language is very submissive
Shy coworker is being friendly:
- She’s like that with everyone at work and not just you
- Her voice doesn’t change when you’re around or becomes deeper
- Her body language stays the same whether you’re there or not
She finds a lot of reasons to talk to you
This particular sign that a female coworker likes you is not just for shy people. It’s applicable in pretty much all situations, although shy people do it far more often. That’s why you need to make sure to notice women at work who are constantly trying to chat you up. About everything and anything at all. Being a guy women can talk to is one way to make women want you.
Just make sure they’re doing it mostly to you and not to everyone around them because they’re simply a chatter-box.
Shy coworker flirting signs:
- She chats you up every day and loves talking to you
- She finds lots of excuses to come talk to you throughout your work hours
Shy coworker is being friendly:
- She’s just a chatty person in general and talks to anyone and everyone about anything at all
- It’s part of her job to talk to a bunch of coworkers
The Important Signs A Married Female Coworker Likes You At Work
Now that you know how to tell if a coworker is flirting or being friendly, let’s discuss the signs a married female coworker likes you.
This is one of the most dangerous situations you can face in the workplace in terms of whether it’s worth it or not. Because if you falsely misinterpret friendly signs from a married coworker and believe they’re into you when they’re not, you can often face severe consequences. That’s because nobody likes a home-wrecker!
That’s why you should always take any signs from married people with a grain of salt and not assume anything at the drop of a hat. Instead, when you see the following signs, try to confirm them as much as possible before making a move. Or you may have to face HR or even sexual harassment complaints.
When you notice these signs, it could be a huge opportunity to hook up, if you’re into that. Just be aware of the fact that if you commit too much, they may expect you to be with them and may even begin planning to divorce their partner. On the flip side, you might be the one who gets too invested, only to have your heartbroken when she won’t choose you over her husband.
She stays after work just to talk to you
A massive sign a married coworker is interested in you is when they stay after work to chat you up. This usually means no one’s waiting for them to get back home. Or they’re not very satisfied with their spouses because they’re not in any hurry to see them.
Of course, she might just stay behind after work because she needs you to help her with something or because she has deadlines she needs to meet. But if she does this way too often for it to be a coincidence, take it as a sure sign she wants you.
Married coworker flirting signs:
- She stays after work all the time when you’re also staying
- She wants to spend as much time with you after work as possible
Married coworker is being friendly:
- Her staying after work is unrelated to you at all
- She stays after work but never or rarely talks to you
She invites you to attend office events together
If she does this to you and you often agree out of convenience, then you might just be her “work-husband” and nothing else. However, when a married woman avoids going home and instead wants to spend time with you outside of work and especially during all office events. It usually means she really likes you, and not just as a coworker.
When you spot this opportunity, you can accept the invitations and you’ll have lots of time to chat to get to know one another better.
Married coworker flirting signs:
- She keeps inviting you and only you to office events
- She won’t otherwise attend office events unless you come with her
Married coworker is being friendly:
- She often goes to office events with other people
- You coming along or not has no effect on her
She keeps inviting you for drinks after work
One of the biggest signs a married female coworker likes you and wants to hook up is if she often invites you for drinks after work.
Basically, just as one of the previous signs above, she doesn’t really want to come home after work to her husband or partner. Instead, she wants to party it up and drink and hook up. And if she’s inviting you to come along, chances are huge she wants to hook up with you, specifically.
Married coworker flirting signs:
- She invites you for drinks several times a week
- She usually only invites you or you and coworkers who head home early
- Your female coworker wants to get drunk with you and spend time with you after work
Married coworker is being friendly:
- She doesn’t care who comes along for drinks, whether you or other coworkers.
- She just wants someone to chaperone her so she won’t get too drunk
A clear sign a female coworker likes you: she invites you to come over because she’s alone
This is one of those signs a female coworker likes you that’s very on-the-nose and not subtle at all. That’s why when you notice it, you can assume right away she wants to hook up while her husband is not around.
Her husband is probably out of town due to work or other reasons. So she’s very lonely being home alone. This presents the perfect opportunity to invite you home and have some fun together.
A very subtle variation of this sign is when she keeps telling you, seemingly out of the blue, when her husband is going to be away and out of town at some point in the future. To encourage you to ask her if she’d like you to come over.
Married coworker flirting signs:
- She invites you to her place and tells you she’s alone for the day (or night)
- She keeps telling you when her husband is not going to be home
Married coworker is being friendly:
- She only invites you home if you’re working on a project and it’s entirely professional
- She invites you home due to work reasons and her husband is around
- You’re invited for dinner with her husband and family
A clear sign your female coworker likes you is when she showers you with attention
When a married coworker is very into you, she will shower you with a lot of extra attention. And her attention will imply a lot of intimacy.
For example, she might come over to your office and while you’re working and staring at the screen, sit down on the table next to you and lean into you. She wants to distract you from work and subtly seduce you. She might also want to make you a bit uncomfortable to see how you’ll react.
She’ll also laugh at your jokes, give you undivided attention when you speak, bring you small gifts and snacks, and even go out of her way to help you with things.
When you notice these signs, it’s safe to say she likes you as more than just friends or coworkers. As long as she’s only doing this with you and not with everyone else who she works with.
Married coworker flirting signs:
- Showers you with lots of extra attention and affection
- Shows all the main signs of attraction from the lists above
Married coworker is being friendly:
- Showers everyone with attention and affection, and not just you
- Doesn’t really go out of her way to interact with you
After reading this article, you should be able to understand and see the signs a female coworker likes you but is hiding it quite clearly. You should also be able to tell when shy coworkers like you as well as when married ones fancy you.
Remember, these signs are universal and applicable to most situations. But when you see them coming from a married person, you’re potentially playing with fire. So my advice would be to find out if she has a failing marriage and is unhappy with her spouse first before you make any moves.
But if you see these signs from a female coworker who happens to be single, then you’re in luck! It’s all a matter of making a move when the time is right.
