So you are looking for cougars or want to date an older woman? Well, there is no surprise there! You are among the thousands of younger men who are looking for cougars, and this is something that is happening more and more. Once upon a time, it was only the celebrities who dared step out with someone older themselves, but it is quite common now to see men who like older women appearing in public everywhere, and being very proud of that fact! No one even looks twice anymore.
There are so many things about looking for cougars and dating them that you should take note of, however, if you want to have a successful relationship with that independent gal. These lessons will be valuable for both online and offline dating. If you are still trying to find more attractive older women to date check out our list of the best websites for dating older women.
What You Should Know When Looking For Cougars
Below are the rules that our team has put together that you should follow when you are looking for cougars. You likely already experienced some of these in your dating life but it never hurts to get a little reminder!
Rule #1 - Don't be afraid of independence
One thing you need to understand about cougars is that they're independent. The older, independent women you visualize when you are looking for cougars didn't get where they are by relying on a man, though. She got there on her own and is perfectly capable of taking care of herself.
While she may not need you in her life, she may certainly want you as long as you know what to expect. Men who are looking for cougars have a few things to learn about independence before leaping into a relationship
Rule #2 - The internet is your friend, especially eHarmony
Many cougars are so busy that they just don't have time to spend in a singles bar hoping an interesting guy talks to them. Instead, many of them are taking control of their dating lives and mostly meeting guys online. You need to be on eHarmony (the site where we've had the best success meeting them) if you want to take things to a new level.
If you've tried other sites without great success or haven't tried online dating at all eHarmony is by far the best option for you. They have the women (over 30 million active members), a system that actually makes things easier for you, and the best success rates we have ever seen, especially if you're more interested in a relationship. We also have a profile creation guide for meeting cougars on eHarmony if you need some help.
They're so good at this that 75% of all marriages that began online started on eHarmony! They completely blow away the competition.
What we really like about eHarmony's proven trial though is that it goes in-depth. They really figure out what you're looking for (single cougars) and match you up with women looking for guys just like you. These are women who are way more MOTIVATED to respond to your messages and actually meet up offline. It's VERY different from the other sites out there that are full of time-wasters and women just looking for an ego boost.
Every guy who hasn't had the luck they want with cougars should check out their proven trial and see. You can't improve your dating life without changing things up a bit!
Rule #3 - Don't go overboard trying to pay
Older, independent women don't need a man to spend tons of money on her to make an impression. Picking up the tab once in a while is fine, or even splitting the bill is a good thing to do, but all-out lavish spending on your part is not what she wants. She is your equal, not your 'little girl' date. When you make a move on a cougar, it doesn't always have to be some grand gesture. Men who are looking for cougars should learn this right from the start-money never impresses that woman!
Rule #4 - Don't be needy
Don't be the clingy, needy type of younger man. No older woman wants someone like that in her life Trust me when I say that is enough to drive someone crazy. An independent older woman doesn't want or need someone who is always hovering over her or is afraid to let her out of his sight.
That is just pathetic, especially when younger men are looking for cougars. Stand on your own two feet and realize that you need to be independent, too. If you find yourself being too clingy you need to expand your options! Check out some of the proven ways to find and meet cougars looking for cubs here.
The Apps Dating Coaches Recommend Most To Meet Cougars
More and more older women are only using apps and sites to meet guys, especially younger guys. You need to be on at least one or two apps now if you want to get the best results you can. These are the apps that give normal guys the best success meeting cougars:
| Site | Our Experience | Our Rating | Free Trial Link |
|---|---|---|---|
Best Hookup Site Cougars  | Experience Highlights
| 9 | Try AFF For Free |
Best For Relationships  | Experience Highlights
| 9 | Try eHarmony |
2nd Best For Hookups  | Experience Highlights
| 8 | Try Passion |
Rule #5 - No to being a yes-man
Every woman wants a strong man and older women are no different. You need to have your own opinions and values and not just agree to everything she says. You have your own likes and dislikes and you shouldn't be afraid to speak your mind.
She will appreciate your honesty and value your opinions even if they differ from hers. Men who are looking for cougars will learn soon enough that she is perfectly capable of putting them in there place if need be. That's what independent women do!
Rule #6 - Learn to pamper her a bit
Spending the night is fine, but don't expect any special treatment! You should be the one to bring her breakfast in bed, not the other way around. Can't cook? Get up early and make a quick run to the nearest bakery for coffee and donuts! Believe me when I tell you she will absolutely love you for that gesture. She may be independent, but all women love a bit of pampering, too. Try it-men who are looking for cougars will soon learn how to please this independent lady.
Rule #7 - Be your own man
Have your own outside interests. You don't have to be together 24/7, and she won't want to. She is going to want to have time with her friends and so should you. She knew them before she became acquainted with you and she is not about to give them up now, nor should she. You can go out with your buddies and not worry about what she is doing.
Men who are looking for cougars may have a hard time with this thought process but will learn in time that time apart is actually good for the relationship. Older, independent women don't always want their “boyfriend” hanging around all the time, so get used to it early on. It doesn't mean she cares less about you but just wants to spend time doing other things.
Rule #8 - Looking for cougars with a job? Don't expect to be priority #1
Don't get upset if she spends a lot of hours working. How do you think she got where she is in her career? (and don't make the mistake of calling what she does a 'job') She is independent and got that way by focusing on her career and the goals she has set for herself, so calling her career her 'job' is demeaning and shows that you don't know as much as you might think you do. Younger men who are looking for cougars should know that no older woman got where she is today by performing just any 'job.
Rule #9 - She's a strong woman
Whether you think so or not, an independent woman can fix almost anything! She doesn't need a man for small repairs around the house, and she actually knows one end of a hammer from another. Men who are looking for cougars will soon find this out for themselves if they are around long enough. You don't get to be 'independent' by relying on someone else to fix or repair every little thing. Strong women learn to do it themselves. Don't make the mistake of thinking of her as the 'little woman' around the home. She can probably teach you a few things!
Rule #10 - Looking for an independent cougar? Give her space
Chances are she is going to work out a lot, and you are going to want to tag along, right? Don't! This is her time to do whatever she wants, and she will probably head to the gym with her long-time girl friends. You don't have to go with her. If you want to go to the gym do it with friends of your own.
You aren't attached at the hip you know. Give her space! Men who want to find cougars are going to learn this right from the start-she is not going to want you hanging around all the time. It doesn't mean she doesn't care for you, just that she needs her own space.
Rule #11 - Don't kiss and tell
Don't spill the secrets she divulges no matter what! If she tells you something in confidence make sure you keep it to yourself. If the cougar is the one who seduced you, no need to post about it online.
Nobody likes a blabbermouth and if you can't be trusted to keep a secret, what else can't you be trusted to do? Men who are looking for cougars have to prove they are mature enough to keep confidences under their hat unless they want to have the relationship over before it gets off the ground.
Rule #12 - Leave your jealousy at the door
Jealousy in any relationship is a definite turnoff, especially if the woman is older than the man. Younger men who are looking for cougars have to realize that she is way beyond that childish behavior and has already been through relationships like that-years ago! Neither one of you are teenagers so just leave that stuff out! No older woman is ever going to put up with it and she will let you know that the very first time you display jealous behavior.
Rule #13 - Let her be vulnerable
Be strong, and be the one she can lean on when necessary. Just because she is older does not mean she doesn't need a shoulder to cry on once in a while. She may be strong and independent but all women are vulnerable and need a strong man to be there when she needs him. This is what all the best cougar dating books will tell you
Men who are looking for cougars may find this fact particularly attractive-knowing that he is the one who can give her comfort when she needs it.
Rule #14 - Learn from each other
One good thing about an older woman/younger man relationship is that they can learn from each other. Men who are looking for cougars don't know how good they have it! She has the years of experience to teach him about relationship matters, and he, in turn, can keep her feeling young and vibrant.
There is a lot to be said about experience, and men who are looking for cougars are the ones who will benefit the most over all, especially in the bedroom! You younger men who are looking for cougars are going to find out things that may just surprise you!
Rule #15 - Listen!
Be a good listener-not just a talker. If she wants to talk about the rough day she had then pay attention to what she has to say! Let her rant if she feels like it but don't offer advice unless she asks for it! Sometimes she just needs someone to vent to. Saying anything at this point may come back to bite you later. Be calm and carry on. She will feel better just knowing that you care enough to be there when she needs you. Men who are looking for cougars will find that these episodes occur far less often with older women than younger ones though. There's that maturity
thing again!
Rule #16 - Focus on your career too
Men who are looking for cougars will find out that they worked hard to get where they are, and they expect you to also. If you are jumping from job to job, or haven't decided where you want to be in life then you are obviously not ready for a relationship. Don't worry-she will be more than happy to let you know it!
She certainly isn't going to want a younger man who thinks he is going to ride on the coat-tail of her success! Be serious about your career or just go date someone your own age. If you haven't got the maturity to have a career by now, you certainly aren't ready for a serious relationship, especially if you are a younger man who likes older women
Rule #17 - Know that she's a go-getter
Older women are movers and shakers. They aren't sitting around waiting for something good to happen—they make it happen by knowing exactly what they want, how to go about getting it then going after it full force. They are capable of focusing on the goals they want to achieve in life that may seem scary to you at first, but younger men who are looking for cougars will find much to admire about a woman with this particular trait!
Older women are go-getters so you need to realize this fact right from the start. You men who are looking for cougars? Pay attention!
Rule #18 - You're not her baby
Men who are looking for cougars shouldn't expect to be coddled by their older girlfriend! She wants a man-not a little boy! Someone who is as strong as she is and who is not afraid to call her out when she is wrong about anything. Having your own values and opinions is an asset to the relationship as long as you don't misuse them or become overbearing. Men who are looking for cougars need to be as strong as she is and not wimp out at the first sign of conflict!
Rule #19 - Save the marriage talk for later
Let's talk about the “M” word—or rather—let's NOT! Sure, the older woman may want to married at some point, but it will be entirely her choice as to who and when it may happen! Men who are looking for cougars should never push for marriage because the result may not be what you
expect. She may never be ready to take that step so you are certainly better off waiting for her to broach the subject. She might, as the relationship moves along, and then again, she may be perfectly content and happy the way things are.
If you truly care for her then don't rock the boat by bringing up the subject of marriage. Men who are looking for cougars need to realize that she isn't want to give up her single status that easily and it is going to take on heck of a man to change her mind!
Well, there you have it! All the things men who are looking for cougars should know about-whether you are thinking about dating an older woman or even if you already are-knowing what older women want is going to take you a long way in your relationship.
Rule #20
If you are not having the best luck in your day-to-day life finding attractive older women try online! We have already done most of the work for you by putting together our Best Sites For Dating Older Women. Give them a try and see how it goes! You have nothing to lose!
