Hookup culture and high divorce rates have made many men apprehensive about being exclusive with a woman. On the one hand, they don’t want to miss out on meeting new women. But on the other, they also want to keep their options open in case they meet a woman whom they could potentially share their life with. The middle ground: playing the field. This means they get to enjoy the freedom that the single life offers while dabbling in dating on their own terms.
This lifestyle choice provides men uninterested in relationships with several benefits. But playing the field shouldn’t be confused with being a player or a cheater. The men engaging in these two lifestyles are different. Their relationship status is different, and they play by different rules.
Let’s get into the details of what it means to play the field and how it differs from being a player.
What Does Playing the Field Mean?
A man who plays the field embraces a certain lifestyle choice that encompasses several aspects.
Not exclusive
A man who plays the field is not exclusive to any woman. He’s not in a relationship and maintains a single status at all times.
Being single is something he is proud of and cherishes. It’s possible that a truly amazing woman can get him to commit to her. But that is not what he’s looking for, rather it’s something that may happen to him during his solo journey.
Dating multiple women
He goes on dates with different women. It’s likely that most women don’t see him after the first date, but he may go on several dates with a woman he likes who is making him work for sex. This guy usually has a rotation of women he can call to go on dates.
Seldom does he date one woman at a time and then move on to the next one. He could be dating multiple women at once and even have a few dates in one day.
Sex
A woman who dates a guy playing the field will get as far as having sex with him, but it’s unlikely to go further. His intention is to be intimate with high-quality women and disregard the ones who don’t meet his standards.
If he enjoys having sex with a specific woman, he may see her again while dating other women. It’s possible that he enjoys the company of a woman he’s not sleeping with but continues to see because she gifts him emotional intimacy and provides entertainment.
Playing the Field vs. Being a Player
Don’t confuse the meaning of playing the field with playing with a woman’s heart. There are several key distinctions between a man who plays the field and a player.
Not only do they usually have a different moral compass, but their actions have different consequences. While a player and a man playing the field can have the same qualities, they exhibit certain behaviors with women that reveal their intentions.
Playing the field: not having the exclusive talk
After being on several dates and developing strong feelings, a woman will ask a man, “What are we?”. That’s usually a hint that she wants to be in a relationship with him and is giving him an opportunity to express his feelings.
A man who is playing the field doesn’t tell a woman that she is his girlfriend. A woman he’s dating has possibly asked him the What are We question, but he has made it clear to her that he’s not interested in a relationship.
This man is upfront about what he wants and clears up any confusion a woman may have about the dynamic of their relationship.
Being a player: pretending to be exclusive with several women
A player usually has different intentions than a man playing the field. He tells one or several women that he is exclusive with them while sleeping with several women. At least one of his partners is unaware of the other women he’s seeing.
When a woman asks a player if she’s the only one in his life, he will not reveal the truth. Instead, he will convince her to believe that there’s no one else for him but her. He knows how to nail the exclusive talk.
Playing the field: dates lead to intimacy
The reason a man playing the field goes on numerous dates is to sleep with attractive women. He may just date certain women, but he has no qualms about sleeping with as many women as possible.
After the intimacy, he may continue to have sex with a woman. But he’s not involved with her and continues to sleep with other women.
Being a player: dates lead to relationships
The player takes it one step further. He dates a woman, then sleeps with her. But it doesn’t end there if he likes her. Not only will he continue to have sex with her, but a relationship may develop, even though he already has a girlfriend.
A player will have one or more girlfriends, but he’s definitely having sex with multiple women while in a relationship.
Playing the field: women know his dating status
Women dating a man who is playing the field know where they stand. Although a woman may want him to commit to her, she knows that he’s seeing other women and has no intention of settling down.
She may be disappointed for not having him exclusively, but she cannot blame him for the choice he made. He was honest with her from the beginning and didn’t pretend to be someone he was not.
This man is not hiding the fact that he’s dating several women at once. Most of the women he’s seeing know it and accept the situation. A woman may be heartbroken because she can’t tie him down, but his intention isn’t to hurt any woman as he’s having fun with several of them.
Being a player: women think they’re the only one
A player will make a woman believe she is the only one in his life. He will tell her anything that will not incriminate himself. This type of man is usually dishonest from the beginning and builds a web of lies to cover up his cheating.
His lies hurt the woman who believes he’s only with her as she’s serious about being only with him and thinks he feels the same. The whole relationship is built on empty promises because he has different intentions than her.
Playing the field: he’s like an open book
Because a man playing the field isn’t interested in having a relationship with a woman, he’s likely to act more aloof and not say everything that will please her.
He’s also a free spirit who enjoys his freedom and doesn’t always need to be around people to have fun. His alone time is important to him, and he dedicates a lot of it to his hobbies.
This is the type of guy to wear his heart on his sleeve because he has nothing to hide from a woman.
Being a player: his fictional stories fill up a book
Considering players are manipulative, they tend to be smooth talkers and always know what to say to a woman. It’s common for a player to be constantly busy because he’s juggling multiple relationships, and his time with one woman is always limited.
A player always has a story to back up his actions and whereabouts and seems to dedicate most of his time to work and side projects. He is overly confident and likely to avoid emotional confrontations.
