Dating is already hard when you’re dealing with monogamous relationships. But when you’re part of the crowd who prefers a polyamorous dating life, it really changes the name of the game.
While monogamy remains the norm, polyamorous relationships are getting more prevalent in our society, with at least 1 in 6 people enjoying these types of relationships. The trouble is, when you try to look for a poly partner on mainstream dating apps, chances are you won’t find one.
That’s where polyamorous dating apps come in. These dating sites allow making romantic connections easier. If you’re exploring your preferences and are looking for the best polyamory dating site, this guide is for you. Let’s talk about the top polyamorous dating sites and their essential features to help you on the road to love.
What are the Best Poly Dating Sites in 2023?
The best poly dating site can vary depending on your personal preferences. However, here are a couple of good sites out there that can help you get started:
- Feeld
- AFF
- #Open
- Down
- OkCupid
- Ashley Madison
- BiCupid
- Headero
- MoreThanOne
- OpenMinded
What is Poly Dating to its Core?
Poly dating is when someone prefers to have a romantic relationship with more than one person at a time. Polyamory comes from the Greek words for ‘many’ and ‘love.’ In other words, it means having full romantic relationships with many people at once.
Just don’t confuse this with an open relationship. An open relationship is non-monogamous but only involves pleasure and sex. On the other hand, poly dating involves the entire disclosure of romantic feelings with no secrecy.
Moreover, you should also not confuse polyamory with polygamy. There’s a difference between these two terms, wherein polygamy involves marrying more than one person. In poly dating, marriage doesn’t have to be involved.
Poly dating can also look different to most people because it has several boundaries and structures. Some of the most common ones include the following:
- Polyfidelity: only people in groups are allowed to have romantic relationships with their partners in a separate group
- Quad: involves four people dating one another
- Triad: involves three people, more commonly known as a throuple
- Bee: a person dates two different people who are not dating each other
Beyond these set-ups, you can also find polyamorous people who don’t like these structures and simply engage in multiple romantic relationships. These people love going with the flow, regardless of whether they’re meeting new people online or offline.
Like monogamous relationships, playing the field of poly dating also has established rules both parties understand and follow. These rules help define the boundaries within the relationship, avoiding miscommunications that can negatively affect the structure.
The Pros
Poly dating also has its fair share of pros and cons, much like a monogamous relationship. For starters, honesty always prevails. People in polyamorous relationships are fully transparent with their desires and feelings, especially sexually and emotionally. This significantly decreases the risks of breaking up.
Poly dating also promotes proactive problem-solving because discussions about the relationship are more common. One person can automatically tell the other when he feels bored or stale in the relationship.
And finally, poly dating ensures boundaries and rules are well-defined. Guidelines should be clear to ensure there are equal exchanges of love and care within the relationship.
The Cons
Let’s talk about the downsides. Knowing these disadvantages can help you establish better rules so you know how to avoid ruining the relationship.
As the polyamorous relationship deepens, jealousy is inevitable. Someone might fall deeper in love with another, which can result in the person using it as a way to break up with their partner. Or worse, the person decides to return to being monogamous to focus on that single partner.
Introducing a new person to your relationship may stop you from unleashing your creativity and releasing more energy into your sex life. You might find it too time-consuming to look for new fantasy desires and techniques to try with your partner.
And finally, don’t think that poly dating can be the fix you need in your monogamous relationship. Some people switch to poly dating to spice up their sex life, which can lead to more issues. Yes, poly dating can get pretty exciting, but it won’t solve anything when you don’t talk about what really bothers you with your partner.
How Rare is Polyamory?
In general, a study revealed that at least one in six Americans are open to trying poly dating. Beyond that, one in nine people had experienced being in a polyamorous relationship. There are studies that say that the number of Americans who prefer being polyamorous is almost the same as those who wish to move to a different country.
Moreover, past research revealed that the number of polyamorous individuals is roughly the same as that of degree holders in the US. If you’re looking for other demographic details, young adults and people who are not straight are more interested in engaging in poly dating.
Despite the rising popularity, there’s still a looming dark shadow you must be aware of when engaging in poly dating. For instance, courts can use this against you when deciding on child custody proceedings. So, while polyamory can be great for some people, it can also have its disadvantages.
Ultimately, deciding to engage in poly dating depends on you alone. You must always know the pros and cons and become fully aware of what you’re dealing with.
Top Best Polyamorous Dating Sites Listed and Rated
Now that you pretty much have an idea of what a polyamorous relationship is and how it works let’s get the ball rolling and go over the top polyamorous dating sites out there!
Generally, using the usual dating apps like Tinder and Bumble won’t work. That’s because these are designed for people looking for casual hookups or monogamous relationships, not polyamorous relationships.
To help you find suitable sites, here are a couple of the top polyamorous dating sites that will connect you with a new romantic interest.
Feeld
Feeld is hands-down one of the top rated dating apps for polyamorous relationships. If poly dating is your thing, chances are you have already heard of this app. It was previously called 3nder and aimed to become a sex-positive space for individuals who love exploring beyond what’s conventional.
Creating an account on Feeld entitles you to upload your photos, specify your desires and interests, and link your account to another partner, if any. What’s great about this app is that there are more options (about 20!) than just ‘man’ and ‘woman’ when choosing your sexuality and gender identity.
Moreover, you can limit what you see on your feed. Specify the accounts you wish to view. If you only prefer seeing men or women, it’s cool! Don’t like seeing couples? Leave it to Feeld to filter what you see! This means more tailored choices and a better overall experience.
Another exciting feature of Feeld is forming a group chat where users can create a digital space to create multiple connections. This makes getting to know each other through the same message threads easier.
According to polyamorous educators, Feeld has created a safe space for the adventurous, open-minded, queer, kinky, and non-monogamous.
Feeld comes with a free and a premium version. Naturally, the app offers more functionalities with the premium version at a price. The majestic (premium) version costs $14.99 for 30 days and $22.99 for 90 days. Check out our Feeld review for more info.
Features:
- More than 20 sexuality and gender identity choices
- The ability to upload as many as six pictures of your choice
- List down your interests and desires
- A group chat feature where you can introduce yourself to a large group and get to know one another
- A built-in messaging app that allows you to message a person you’ve matched with
- Private photos visible only to your connections
- Incognito mode
AFF
Anyone who has been on the internet for at least a decade has heard of AFF or Adult FriendFinder. Even today, younger Gen Z users are gravitating towards the site because of how easy it is to find hookups there.
AFF is primarily a hookup site where you can meet thousands of people all looking for something quick, casual, and best of all, fun. No strings attached is the name of the game, and AFF has been playing it for decades.
The great thing about AFF is that it's a no-judgment dating app where all preferences are welcome. So if multiple partners and polyamory are what you're after, you can be sure you'll meet someone who's into that on AFF.
While there's no AFF app (great if you don't want anyone spotting it on your phone), you can use the mobile site to browse through literally millions of profiles. Filter that down to those who want to engage in polyamory, and you'll have hundreds of choices.
Features:
- Open to all genders, kinks, preferences, etc.
- Easy to use
- There's an AFF free trial
- Discreet--you don't need to post a photo of your face to find matches
- Millions of users worldwide
#Open
If you prefer using a dating app exclusively for open, polyamorous, and ethical non-monogamous individuals, you might want to check out #Open. This app was founded on three main principles: respect, inclusivity, and consent.
#Open allows individuals to explore their sexualities and look for polyamorous partners out there seeking adventure or alternative relationships. Like any dating app, #Open will enable you to create your profile based on your desires and interests.
With a combination of yes, no, and maybe questions, #Open utilizes its algorithm to match you with like-minded people who share the same interests and principles. You can also create a couple’s profile when looking for a third or fourth partner. Also, quickly switching between an individual's and a couple's profiles is possible.
Another unique feature of #Open is meeting with fellow #Open members through in-person and virtual community events. Today, the app has more than 170,000 profiles you can match with!
#Open also comes with a free and paid version. For $9.99 monthly, you can enjoy additional features
Features:
- Use hashtags of #yes, #no, and #maybe to let the app determine your preferences.
- A secure partner account so you can chat together
- Easy toggling between partner and solo profiles
- View the people who like you first (paid)
- 15 sparks monthly you can send to the individuals you want to hang out with (paid)
- View multiple likes through the power grid access (paid)
Down
Down is probably the fastest-growing poly dating app on this list. It might be one of the newest polyamorous dating sites, but trust me; it has done wonders. Down currently has more than ten million users, perfect for open-minded individuals who love to explore their sexual desires.
This dating app was designed to promote inclusivity because it lets you choose between looking for casual hookups or long-term romantic relationships. Create an account, specify your interests, and start swiping!
What makes this different from the other apps on this list is that you don’t swipe right or left. Instead, swipe up when you want to date the person and down when you fancy them for a hookup session.
But if you’re not interested in the person on the screen, just swipe left and move on! Don’t worry; you can return to the profiles when second-guessing.
Another thing to remember about Down is that it promotes honesty and transparency. You need to be fully transparent with what you want and who you are on your profile. Respect is always the key, so always specify what you want when making a connection.
Down’s paid version, or VIP version, costs $19.99. For more details on this app, check out our Down dating app review.
Features:
- A photo verification to guarantee no fake profiles exist
- Snap Match: chat matchmaking system to make a virtual human connection
- Swipe up and down for hook-up and dating
- Icebreaker games like “Would you rather?” and “Photo Challenge”
- See the people who swiped down on your profile (VIP version)
- A chance to match ten times more (VIP version)
- View people outside your local area (VIP version)
- An option to hide your dating profile from your Facebook friends (VIP version)
- See who liked your profile first (VIP version)
OkCupid
OkCupid is not specifically tailored for users looking for a polyamorous relationship. But it’s also famous for matching individuals open to dating more than one person. Jimena Almendares, the app’s chief product officer, included polyamorous people to promote inclusivity and openness.
This means OkCupid caters to a larger community because it includes both monogamous and non-monogamous individuals. And you don’t have to worry about matching with people you’re not interested in. OkCupid guarantees it’s easy to connect with people you share the same interests with.
Moreover, OkCupid matches people based on their relationship status, sexuality, and gender identity. It also provides more than 5000 questions to help the app know more about your needs. So you don’t have to worry about compatibility because this dating app can give you just that!
Today, OkCupid has more than 50 million users! You can even link your profile to your partner’s. However, the app does not allow joint couple profiles, so you should create one for yourself and your partner.
With the messages, you can only send and receive one from people if matched. This is a good thing because it avoids harassment and filters messages.
OkCupid comes with free, basic, and premium versions. The basic plan costs $4.95, while the premium plan costs $24.90. The features of the basic plan include being able to send unlimited likes, remove ads, and add extra preferences to your profile.
If you want to upgrade to premium, you can enjoy the added ability to send 3 SuperLikes weekly, see who liked your profile, and view answers of other users to questions you didn’t answer.
OkCupid has plenty of other features that we discuss in depth in our OkCupid review.
Features:
- Choose from monogamous and polyamorous individuals
- Link your partner’s profile to yours
- Offers 22 sexual orientations and 13 gender identities
Ashley Madison
Ashley Madison is an exclusive and discreet polyamorous dating app that encourages individuals to be open and meet new individuals. It’s a very private app for unmarried and married people who want to explore their sexual desires.
With more than 54 million profiles, Ashley Madison gives you an all-in-one pass to meet all kinds of people from all over the world!
Let’s talk about the app’s discreetness. For starters, you can join the site without anyone knowing you just did. Plus, using any email is fine; you don’t need to link your profile to your social media accounts.
Ashley Madison also masks your face to control your privacy. And inbox customization is possible with a travel and quick reply feature. This way, connecting and matching with people is more manageable, even when you’re busy touring the world.
As mentioned, women can enjoy all the app’s impressive features. But if you’re a man, you can send one message for free before paying for the premium version. This is because each action on the app deducts a certain amount of your credits. Five credits per message is the standard payment.
The paid versions of Ashley Madison are as follows:
- Basic: 100 credits for $59
- Classic: 500 credits for $169
- Elite: 1000 credits for $289
For more details, you can also have a look at our Ashley Madison review where we talk more about what the app has to offer.
Features:
- Discreet from the billing all the way to payment methods
- Anonymous profiles are possible
- A guarantee package offers you a refund when it did not work out for three months
BiCupid
BiCupid is another exclusive poly dating app. But this time, it’s tailored for bisexuals looking for couples, poly folks, and open-minded singles. It’s also worth mentioning that BiCupid has become a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community to feel a sense of freedom and acceptance.
Users on BiCupid can look for long-term relationships, casual dating, and hookups. You can also use advanced search tools to look for like-minded connections. Thanks to the app’s privacy features, you can guarantee your safety and discreetness.
Signing up and creating an account should only take about 5 minutes. You can sign up through your Facebook account, but you can choose the manual version to set up your profile.
The paid membership costs $33.99, with additional features like searching for profiles, sharing extra photos, and chatting with your fellow subscribed users.
Features:
- Diverse and large user base with more than 1.3 million people
- Let’s Meet Feature: look for a mutual match
- Reverse Marching: look for your potential match by using the matches looking for the same interests as you
Headero
Like OkCupid, Headero is also open to monogamous and polyamorous individuals. Don’t worry, the app does a perfect job of filtering the searches based on your desires and preferences.
Headero takes pride in ensuring the app is a safe, open-minded, kink-friendly, and sex-positive environment. It ensures users feel more empowered about their sexual interests as they look for individuals who match what they want.
But more than that, Headero became famous because it promotes safe oral sex. It aims to create a safe space for individuals who love oral sex without getting negative judgments. If you’re one of those, Headero might be the poly dating site for you.
Features:
- Send disappearing photos, messages, videos, and location
- Can access people from longer distances
- Schedule when and where you want the hookups to happen
MoreThanOne
MoreThanOne is one of the free polyamory dating apps in this guide. While there’s a paid subscription of $9.99, you can pretty much enjoy all the features with the free version.
This dating app is designed explicitly for polyamorous individuals looking for hookups. Yes, it’s an exclusive app for people who like to unleash their wild side and release tension. To maintain the users’ anonymity, you can control the people who see your profile.
Also, MorethanOne is not a swiping app. It gives users a chance to create more detailed profiles so that they can see more information about someone before hooking up. It makes looking for a match so much easier!
Making a private profile is also possible. You can allow your profile only to be seen by potential connections you contact. This adds to the app’s privacy and discretion. MoreThanOne also provides a safe space for the LGTBQ+ community.
Features:
- Ability to link your profiles with your partner
- Sign-up is not required
- No need to link your social media account to your profile
- Supports private profiles for guaranteed security
OpenMinded
Last but definitely not least is OpenMinded. And as its name suggests, it’s a platform for individuals seeking open relationships. This dating app has become a free and safe outlet for couples who want to explore and spice up their dating lives.
OpenMinded features a content section where you can check out all the info you need about open relationships, including how it works and the rules you must define with your partner. It does not mind whether you’re a newbie or a veteran in poly dating.
Plus, can you imagine that there’s a complete glossary about the terms and vocabulary you must learn about open relationships?
Features:
- Safe and private space for couples engaging in open relationships
- A content section about open relationships and how they work
- Glossary of terms and vocabulary about poly dating
Some Tips for Using Poly Dating Sites
If you’re a newbie in the poly dating world, there’s nothing to fear. Yes, it can feel scary and challenging at first. But as long as you know the rules and what you want, you should be good!
And we’re also here to help! With hundreds of polyamorous dating sites available, how can you be on your best behavior? Here are valuable tips to make your lives easier.
Tip #1: Don’t overdo it.
The most important tip is to never overdo it. Create your profile as you are. People on dating sites must know you for your real identity to ensure your interests and preferences match. Most of the time, overdoing it can lead to miscommunication which can lead to a major relationship failure!
Tip #2: Always be honest about being poly.
Polyamory dating sites exist because individuals who love dating more than one person are all about honesty and transparency. If poly dating is definitely what you’re looking for, you must always include it as part of your profile.
Plus, if you’re not honest about it, you might end up hanging out with a monogamous individual. And this can do more harm than good! When you’re open about being poly, chances are you’ll meet someone with the same interests as you and instantly click.
Tip #3: State your intentions clearly.
What are you looking for in the dating app? Are you looking for something long-term? Or are hookups and casual dating more your thing? Be specific about what you want and mention them explicitly on your profile.
Stating your intentions clearly allows the app to look for individuals matching your interests. This speeds up connections and saves time communicating with people who will not be what you want.
Tip #4: Consent, consent, consent
Respect begets respect. Before proceeding with meetups or conversations, always ask! Consent is critical, especially in polyamorous dating. This prevents any misunderstanding or harassment that can lead to more problems.
If you’re currently in a relationship, always ask your partner first before engaging with another person on a dating app. Even in an open relationship, your partner should know everything you do on the app, including the people you match with. Or else, it probably counts as cheating.
Tip #5: Don’t take rejection personally.
One last piece of advice: never take rejection personally. If the person you’re talking to realizes you’re not a match, so be it. Chances are you’ll find another one better that will suit your preferences.
Moreover, there are several dating apps you can try. This means you have more opportunities to meet other people who will accept you for who you are and the rules you establish.
Get Started on the Road to Polyamorous Dating
Polyamorous dating can be rewarding and fun. However, getting started means finding an excellent online platform for meeting people who are interested in the same lifestyle as you are.
Although you can use regular dating apps to find polyamorous relationships, your best bet is to turn to sites specifically designed for polyamorous couples. That way, you’re more likely to connect with people who are interested in the same lifestyle as you.
A couple of the best sites to use include Feeld, #Open, and Down, although there are others out there for you. Whichever you pick, it’s time to start on the road to love and get ready for a new romantic adventure.
